ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
