I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
