I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?