Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband