As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Of course I have a pirate flag
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...