Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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