Even the bartender felt bad for me
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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