Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize