we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.