were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
