wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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