I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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