Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I forget how to act sober
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
