he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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