i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
