This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
