# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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