there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
