I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
