Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
