I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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