I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
