One girl and one boy is just not enough.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
