It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
