The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
