I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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