Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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