Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
