You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
