laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
