Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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