the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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