just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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