Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
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