A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I look better un-naked...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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