Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
