the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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