I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize