I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
