I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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