Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
That accounts for only three of the penises
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
