I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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