This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
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Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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