I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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