I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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