Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
