I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Say something about gay babies.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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