i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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