I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
