please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
