He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize