so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
one might say we're banned from that church
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i believe in u and ur pee
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
