Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
