4 words: hood of his car
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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