so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize