Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
