Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
