Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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