Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
