This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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