I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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