I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
