Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It's rum buckets o'clock
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
