Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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