I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
