i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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