It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
