She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I deserve this hangover.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
